I have been seeing it a lot lately on the internet. Women bashing other women. When a woman is doing well, other women are quick to nitpick at her, to try to bring her down a notch. But why? Why does she need to be brought down a notch?
On the flip side, I have also noticed that when a woman is having a hard time, she is shamed and mocked. Other women grab their shovel and start piling on the dirt, like none of us have ever had a hard time before. Why do we like to relish in another woman’s struggle? Why does that make us feel better? It doesn’t actually.
News Flash, Bringing Other Women Down Makes You Miserable
When a woman is doing well, it’s almost like the rest of us get jealous. Ew right? I know I said it, we get jealous. The image that always pops into my head is the gorgeous, decadent apple pie. You know that kind that is perfectly browned on top, with some caramelized sugar? Anyways I digress. This pie comes to mind because it’s the cause of the “bash another successful woman” thing. Like somehow, if someone like Beyonce or Lady Gaga is super successful then there is no success left for the rest of us. She takes too much of the pie and it’s not fair.
At the core, it’s about the comparison game. We either think we are way better than them; therefor they deserve less praise and success or we are not as good as them, so we need to criticize them hoping that it makes us feel better about the parts of ourselves we don’t feel great about.
Either way you spin it, it’s pretty damn negative. The thing about negativity is that it loves other negativity. It attracts it and brings it to your life, making you miserable.
Kicking a Woman When She is Down, Knocks You Down
When a woman is having a hard time and her life is falling apart, the rest of us revel in it. Again, gross I know. I bet your thinking, Megan, I do not do that. Maybe you don’t, at least not always but I am sure at one point in your life, when you watched a friends life unravel, you have thought “I knew her life wasn’t so perfect”. I know this because I have been guilty of this.
Guess what though? Being happy in another women’s failure didn’t help me be happier. I don’t want to sound selfish here, but if it doesn’t make me happy why I am bothering to do it? Doesn’t really make any sense at all.
Make Yourself Happier By Building Up Your Fellow Woman
When you see another woman doing well, whether it’s your friend or Beyonce, be happy for them. Not because they deserve it, because you do. You will feel as awesome as you are if you can be like, “damn that girl is killing it”. Success is not some pie, where if one woman gets to much of it then there wont be enough left for the rest of us. There is enough, I promise.
When you see another woman suffering, reach out. Instead of pouring yourself a glass of wine and celebrating that suffering reach out to her, pour her a glass of wine. Remind yourself that there were times when you suffered, that that it sucked.
In your life you attract what you put out there, if you want positive things in your life, put positive vibes out there for other women.
Next time you find yourself wanting to criticize another woman, check yourself. Ask yourself why you are wanting to be critical and what if anything, being critical will do for you.